109. Being Realistic

We all live by stories about how the world works. On a warm and sunny day our story is happy but on a cold and stormy day we feel like nature is angry. These stories are our way of making sense of things.

For some of us, our story about being realistic has some flaws. Being realistic isn't taking what you hope for and then shrinking it down until it feels safe.

It's about making the story truer. Wear sunscreen to prevent yourself from getting skin cancer because the rays can be harmful over time. Use an umbrella in the rain to prevent yourself from getting wet.

Being Realistic means using your best understanding of how things work and then trying hard to find what's wrong with that understanding so you can improve it.

A wildly ambitious plan can be more realistic than a "modest" one if it's backed by a better explanation and has survived more criticism. It was realistic to travel to the moon in 1969, July 16.

Being unrealistic means thinking or saying, “Here is the story I’m going to believe and stick to because I like it, I’m afraid, or I just don’t know.” What’s implied is that you’re doing this not because it’s the best explanation, but because you’re avoiding looking for ways your story might be wrong.

If you want to be more realistic ask yourself the following questions: what stories are you living by, would your experience of life be better with a different story, and how are you judging those stories' merits and faults?